Usually when a year started I had a series of certainties. I knew I would finish some year at the University and start another, or that I would start looking for certain job at some point in the year, or that I would travel or move here or there… For the most part, the certainties in my year to come were provided by my mom and her life rhythm.
When 2014 started I was alone in Vancouver with only one thing certain in my head: My last year of school would end in April. From then on, it would all depend on me and what I did of my time and myself. I underwent a lot of anxiety and stress, time was ticking and I started considering new paths. Argentina was far in the corner of my table of options. Little did I know I would end up here. The path that took me here wasn’t smooth or predictable. Some people disappointed me and I disappointed a lot of people, myself included.
This year was all about hard and almost irrational work. I put a ton of effort into things that were and weren’t worth it. I was the hero of some stories and the villain of plenty more. I won amazing friends, but lost others that were really dear to me too. I took tough decisions that ripped my already wounded heart open and it feels like I left my path to Buenos Aires marked with a thick trail of blood.
This year I still dragged around a lot of shit I didn’t need in my suitcase, I insisted in packing useless weight from my earlier years along with all the new stuff (both good, bad, awesome and shitty) and I finally had to compromise. Today, after getting rid of useless memories and a wedding dress, my suitcase is much lighter: it carries my books, my scripts, my ideas, my projects, some crafts and only my favorite clothes.
The conclusion is that this year I’ve learned a lot more about life and myself than any other period of my life. I learned it’s true that I am capable of pulling off some crazy shit if I put my heart and mind to it, I learned that hard work will pay off as long as I pick my battles wisely and stop giving myself away to places and people that don’t deserve me, I learned that no one will keep me on track but myself and I have to stay focused, I learned that all those 9gag shitty inspirational posters telling you to stay true to yourself actually do have a point, I learned that independence and freedom are as much of a privilege as they are burdens.
I’m deeply thankful for every opportunity I had, every work I did, every person I met, every trust and friendship won and lost. I’m thankful for VFS, for Charlotte’s Song, thankful for all the help I got in LA, thankful for every ingredient in the insane mix that brought me to Buenos Aires and the wonderful people I’ve met here. I’m thankful for feeling that I run short when I call my best friends “family”. I’m thankful because either if it was on a movie set, on a hotel’s Front Desk or during a late talk on Facebook, this year I truly understood the value of being part of something larger than myself.
Now I’m all set for 2015, with a bunch of shiny new tools in my hands and clear big ass goals in my pockets, happy to have survived the curves and excited to see what will be new for me and my dear family and friends.
